My Newest Klutzy Injuries OR How to Scare Parents (alternate title)

Here's yesterday's email from Sarah...

Hey you guys! What is up?

So, awesome story- prepare for long sentances and bad grammer/spelling.
Today I was going over to Amberly's house. Since I left my scooter with you guys (bad juju...) I decided, oh most brilliantly, I would rollar blade there, turning down mom's invite to drive me.So, what you may or may not know, there is a mega huge hill on the way to Amberly's house. I practiced breaking before I got to the hill but..
I'm going down the hill on the sidewalk (just in case a car appears in front of me and decides to attack me), when I realize, "Ohhhh, crap. I'm going WAY too fast.." I could hear the wind in my ears and I think I was easily going 15 miles an hour. ( I know, because I have clocked myself going that fast on my own, no hill included, and I know how it feels.) So, my brilliant plan, as I am going faster and faster, is to grab a branch, and swing myself onto someones front yard. (Painful, but better then doing a faceplant on the asphalt at 15 mph.) So, I grab the branch at the bottom of the hill, as I am reaching full velocity, but as I do so, I trip on SOMETHING (idk what) and launch myself into a head dive. I'm thinking, well, ok, ouch in my future, but I'm headed AWAY from the sidewalk and street. Great, right? Well, suddenly, a utility pole appears in front of my face. (Cue the omfg this is gonna frikken hurt and suck and bite and be horrible) So, I smash my face into the metal pole (which for some reason doesn't move outta my way when it sees me coming), whack my right arm into a brink, then grind it to a halt, and land forcefully on my right hip on someones oh-so-well-thought-out decrotive yard rock. Which, needless to say, all the above freaking hurt. (Especially the arm and pole part).And yet again, I will remind you at the time I ran into the pole, I was going maybe 15/20 mph. OUCH!
So, I wound up almost passing out several times, swallowing back vomit, and making my way oh so carefully to Amberly's house. Where I got kinda cleaned up, almost passed out some more, gave them all a BRILLIANT shock with my appearance as they opened the door, and nearly (I say nearly because I started retching) blew chunks on their lovely designer rugs.
I came out of this with a possibly broken nose, (we went to the doctor, they said it probably is, but it's straight so they didn't really need to work on it very much), a lovely gash across my nose where it got split open, a deep gash on my arm they almost stitched( I asked them not to and so they didn't), a swollen and bruised elbow, a bruise that looks like Sharon's surfing bruise's child, and plenty of road rash on random parts of my body. Needless to say, I am hideous. And also, I am wondering WHY oh WHY someone didn't happen to randomly get it on film, cuz it musta looked AMAZING.
Anywayz, theres the ultimate way to begin the week- I'd send pics, but I can't find the USB cable for the camera.
Love you all!
<3/ Sarah